Conned [the road to hell]

I refer to the ConMan in the post below. Trusting my instincts would have been smart; instead, I put my faith in opportunity and sex.

He told me he wanted to make me pregnant three weeks after the first kiss so that he could "become a part of me." One week later, a confession: "I'm in love with you." What girl raised on late 80s/early 90s romantic comedies is built to resist? Not I. However, relaxing into love, I let myself step off the pedestal. Apparently, the ConMan doesn't like seeing eye to eye.

Must I say this again? Hindsight is 20/20.
O, you liar! You slut!
You rank piece of filth disguised in poet's words.
Your self-ignorance astounds!

He tricked me because he tricked himself - his honest desire to give love matched solely by his inability. The ConMan is a collector of ex-girlfriends. Beautiful women kept on hand [not too close, those], gathering an idea here, a trait here, till he has mind-built the perfect girlfriend. What you stupid Myspace profile says is right:

Who I'd like to meet:
Someone I never will.

Dear Readers,

Perhaps I am back. Perhaps not. Can you believe the word of a heartbroken stoner? You ought not to, though my intentions, like the ConMan's, are good.

Ah, I can see it - the road to hell.

I liked you.

Then, i found your Myspace page. I am so disappointed.

April Fools Fall In Love (Redux)

What the fuck was i thinking? I flirted and somehow i fell. Before falling, i thought he was already down there. But now, i think i might be alone. Another full moon in two days. Maybe a good time to make wishes. What would i wish for? For him to love me? Or to make sure i don't love him?

I can barely remember when i noticed. Now-
am i tired or depressed? I won't love him till i know him or at least until i know he loves me.
He can't make me. But i wanna say, "I love you."
I used to want to say, "I hate myself," so things are changing, bad poetry and all.

You'll Get a Free T-Shirt!

From the good people at Save Darfur:

Greetings!

Tomorrow is the big day! Hundreds of people will take to the streets during rush hour to ensure that Fidelity hears loud and clear that their support of genocide in Darfur MUST stop now. Thank you so much for committing to join us for this important event – we can’t wait to see you there!

We're happy to announce that Manute Bol, Sudanese NBA player (retired '95), Council Member Eric Gioia, Council Member David Yassky, and Yhaya Osmoun, member of the Darfur People's Association, will be joining us in our call on Fidelity to divest from PetroChina.

We are REALLY looking forward to seeing you there! Here's all the information you'll need.

When to meet: 7:30 a.m., Tuesday, April 24th

Where to meet: Whitehorse Tavern, 25 Bridge Street, NY, NY 10004 (4,5 to Bowling Green, R,W to Whitehall, 2,3 to Wall St, 1 to South Ferry, J,M,Z to Broad St)

Google Map Link

Frequently Asked Questions

What should I bring?
Your enthusiasm and commitment to the cause!

If you bring a small bag you will need to keep it with you for the duration of the event. We will supply t-shirts, visuals, and leaflets.

What should I wear?
The weather is expected to be sunny and in the sixties, so please dress accordingly. Wear comfortable clothing and shoes. We will supply a t-shirt to wear.

Can I bring a friend?
Of course – bring everyone you know! We would like as many people as possible to join us in our call on Fidelity to divest.

What if I need to leave before 9:45 a.m.?

We encourage everyone to stay for the duration of the event, but we realize that some people have other commitments. Even if you need to leave early, please join us and stay as long as you can.

See you tomorrow!

Sincerely,
Joanna Rooney

4-20

I shan't be around to post on 4-20, so in advance, a little 50s propaganda for you. Like the man says, "Hundreds and hundreds of teenage boys and girls are becoming hopeless dope addicts every year. It's fantastic!"

Indecisive.

Indecisive, i walk toward San Loco. Do you truly want another guaco loco? Or are you walking in the direction of your dealer? Oh, look at that. I am walking toward his place. Let's see if he's home. Too bad. Not there. San Loco doesn't sound so good.

I walk down Broadway. Wendy's. Because earlier, i had a brief craving for McDonald's, but not even at my stoniest, people. Why are these chicken sandwiches so expensive? Further south to the deli that serves bibimap. But i guess only before 6. Their chicken sandwiches are more expensive than Wendy's. I keep walking. How far down am i gonna go? I head back to Wendy's. On the way, i pass a halal stand. A gyro is 19 cents less than a spicky chicken filet. I buy it and walk to Prince Street where the R is waiting for me.

Upon my return home, the dog is barking. The house smells like gas; a burner has been left on. Dog shit on the carpet. The piece of chicken i'm eating seems to be particularly chewy. Oh. That's because it's a rubber band.

And RIP, Mr. Vonnegut.

A Picture of Myself

I took a picture of myself from every angle that i could and asked--
"Am i pretty if you look at me from this direction?" I was at someone else's house.
She is more important to me than i thought.
I returned, found an angle i hadn't thought of,
asked the same question;
the answer is no.