April Fools Fall In Love (Redux)

What the fuck was i thinking? I flirted and somehow i fell. Before falling, i thought he was already down there. But now, i think i might be alone. Another full moon in two days. Maybe a good time to make wishes. What would i wish for? For him to love me? Or to make sure i don't love him?

I can barely remember when i noticed. Now-
am i tired or depressed? I won't love him till i know him or at least until i know he loves me.
He can't make me. But i wanna say, "I love you."
I used to want to say, "I hate myself," so things are changing, bad poetry and all.

You'll Get a Free T-Shirt!

From the good people at Save Darfur:

Greetings!

Tomorrow is the big day! Hundreds of people will take to the streets during rush hour to ensure that Fidelity hears loud and clear that their support of genocide in Darfur MUST stop now. Thank you so much for committing to join us for this important event – we can’t wait to see you there!

We're happy to announce that Manute Bol, Sudanese NBA player (retired '95), Council Member Eric Gioia, Council Member David Yassky, and Yhaya Osmoun, member of the Darfur People's Association, will be joining us in our call on Fidelity to divest from PetroChina.

We are REALLY looking forward to seeing you there! Here's all the information you'll need.

When to meet: 7:30 a.m., Tuesday, April 24th

Where to meet: Whitehorse Tavern, 25 Bridge Street, NY, NY 10004 (4,5 to Bowling Green, R,W to Whitehall, 2,3 to Wall St, 1 to South Ferry, J,M,Z to Broad St)

Google Map Link

Frequently Asked Questions

What should I bring?
Your enthusiasm and commitment to the cause!

If you bring a small bag you will need to keep it with you for the duration of the event. We will supply t-shirts, visuals, and leaflets.

What should I wear?
The weather is expected to be sunny and in the sixties, so please dress accordingly. Wear comfortable clothing and shoes. We will supply a t-shirt to wear.

Can I bring a friend?
Of course – bring everyone you know! We would like as many people as possible to join us in our call on Fidelity to divest.

What if I need to leave before 9:45 a.m.?

We encourage everyone to stay for the duration of the event, but we realize that some people have other commitments. Even if you need to leave early, please join us and stay as long as you can.

See you tomorrow!

Sincerely,
Joanna Rooney

4-20

I shan't be around to post on 4-20, so in advance, a little 50s propaganda for you. Like the man says, "Hundreds and hundreds of teenage boys and girls are becoming hopeless dope addicts every year. It's fantastic!"

Indecisive.

Indecisive, i walk toward San Loco. Do you truly want another guaco loco? Or are you walking in the direction of your dealer? Oh, look at that. I am walking toward his place. Let's see if he's home. Too bad. Not there. San Loco doesn't sound so good.

I walk down Broadway. Wendy's. Because earlier, i had a brief craving for McDonald's, but not even at my stoniest, people. Why are these chicken sandwiches so expensive? Further south to the deli that serves bibimap. But i guess only before 6. Their chicken sandwiches are more expensive than Wendy's. I keep walking. How far down am i gonna go? I head back to Wendy's. On the way, i pass a halal stand. A gyro is 19 cents less than a spicky chicken filet. I buy it and walk to Prince Street where the R is waiting for me.

Upon my return home, the dog is barking. The house smells like gas; a burner has been left on. Dog shit on the carpet. The piece of chicken i'm eating seems to be particularly chewy. Oh. That's because it's a rubber band.

And RIP, Mr. Vonnegut.

A Picture of Myself

I took a picture of myself from every angle that i could and asked--
"Am i pretty if you look at me from this direction?" I was at someone else's house.
She is more important to me than i thought.
I returned, found an angle i hadn't thought of,
asked the same question;
the answer is no.

Tibetan Personality Test

So, my dear friend, Bev, forwarded me this personality test. After one click, you are told that the "Dalai Lama suggests you read it to see if it works for you." Before you begin, you are requested to make a wish. I wished to fall in love during the month of April. I took the test, read the results, and was intrigued by some of the interpretations. My interest lessened significantly when i was then told that my life would improve drastically and my wish would come true if i sent the test to 15 or more persons. Ew. I hate chain letters and according to this web site, the Dalai Lama has nothing to do with the test. Ew. I'm posting the test. Below the questions, you will find the results. If you don't want to have the computer-generated results of a decades old, falsely advertising, sketchily insightful identity test-cum-chain letter spoiled, then don't scroll down. If you want to know yourself, meditate. Try this book for a good, down-to-earth start.

(1) Put the following 5 animals in the order of your preference:
Cow, Tiger, Sheep, Horse, Pig

(2) Write one word that describes eaxh of the following:
Dog, Cat, Rat, Coffee, Sea

(3) Think of someone, who also knows you, who is important to you, which you can relate them to the following colors:
Yellow, Orange, Red, White, Green

(4) Finally, write down your favortie number, and your favorite day of the week.

And the interpretations:

Cow signifies career.
Tiger signifies pride.
Sheep signifies love.
Horse signifies family.
Pig signifies money.

Your description of dog implies your personality [mine is cute, apparently.]
Your description of cat implies the personality of your partner.
Your description of rat implies the personality of your enemies.
Your description of coffee is how you interpret sex.
Your description of sea implies your own life.

Yellow: someone you will never forget.
Orange: someone you consider your true friend.
Red: someone you really love.
White: your twin soul
Green: someone you will remember the rest of your life. [is this different than the yellow interpretation?]

Your favorite number is supposed to represent how many people you ought to forward the test to; the day of the week you choose is the day your wish will come true. Before getting all meh about it, i was struck by the fact that i wished to fall in love, yet sheep was the last animal i listed. Indeed, before writing down my answer, i thought, sheep are kinda gross. I also declined to choose a favorite day of the week. I'm extremely busy ( like all of NYC) and all the days are giving me an equal amount of pleasure and suck. So, no falling in love for me this month, i guess.

My vedic horoscope did, however, tell me a "positive phase will run for possibility of new relationships, which could have a long term potential." But not that long because "unmarried people might not get a chance for marriage this month."

April Fools Fall in Love.

It's been a long time since i've been in love and i don't see it happening any time soon. Being alone runs in my family, although my mother is the one sister in her family who is married (and quite happily!) She is not married to my father, but she is married to my dad, if you know what i mean.

I've been flirting with someone, but that's as far as i figure it'll go. It's as far as i want it to go. I'm enjoying it thoroughly, but i need to put an end to it. I'm fairly certain that he has feelings for me, as they say, and i don't want to lead him on, as they continure to say.

Tomorrow is a full moon, an auspicious time to perform spiritual practices, like meditating and being honest.

Earth Hour

I just received this today from our friends down under:

EARTH HOUR - 7.30pm to 8.30pm - Saturday March 31, 2007


Earth Hour is a fabulous opportunity for you and your family to do
something about climate change. On one night, in one hour, more will be
done, more will be demonstrated, and more will be learned than through a
hundred 'talk-fests'. And you can help make it happen.

What is Earth Hour?

It sounds simple, but it is very, very dramatic. At 7.30pm on March 31st
2007, we will be encouraging companies, government departments,
individuals and families to turn off their lights for just one hour. If
we meet our objectives during the first Earth Hour, the savings in green
house gas emissions will be the equivalent of taking 75,000 medium sized
cars off the road for one whole year! Now that's something worth doing.

Why?

The facts are alarmingly clear:

* The climate is changing! The 10 hottest years on record have
occurred since 1990. In fact 2005 was the hottest year since record keeping
began.

* More than 95% of the Great Barrier Reef will have been destroyed
by 2050 if carbon dioxide emissions aren't reduced. (WWF-International)
* One million species worldwide are facing extinction due to
climate change.

But not everybody listens to the facts. Earth Hour is your opportunity
to demonstrate how a simple change in our way of life could change, and
help save, our planet.

The goals of Earth Hour:

Households : Most of us use unnecessary electricity. Appliances on
standby,
old style light bulbs, lights left on when we're not using
them. Earth Hour will help us all to realise just how simply we can make
a dramatic impact upon global warming (and our own power bills). We will
see it in action.

Companies : We want companies to be involved. If every company turned off
its lights when the buildings weren't in use, and
combined it with energy saving technology, we would save between 2 and 4
million tonnes of greenhouse gasses every year. Earth Hour will show
companies just how easy that is.

To make it an annual event : Out of the 8,766 hours in a year, let's
give one back to the earth.

What you can do:

Sign up to Earth Hour and Pledge to turn off your lights on March 31st
from 7.30pm to 8.30pm by logging onto www.earthhour.org

You will receive all the information you need to make Earth Hour a great
success (and to cut your own energy bills in the long term). Pledging is
free.


Get off standby : Turn off all the electronic equipment and appliances
in your home that are not being used or are on standby. Computers,
televisions, stereo equipment, phone chargers, DVD or video equipment.

Tell a friend : Spread the word about earth Hour by involving your
friends, family and workmates. Get them to pledge at earthhour.org and
most importantly, turn off the lights at 7.30pm
Saturday 31 March 2007.

Spread the word - Once you have signed up for Earth Hour tell a friend;
spread the word at work; tell your boss; mention it at school, at your
local sports club or society group, you can even run it past your
neighbours!

Make it an event. Get your family and friends to switch off their lights as
well;
Take some binoculars and look at the stars; sit and talk by candlelight;
Explore your backyard
by torchlight;
Have fun with sparklers; or just do something non-electric as a
family;
Have a picnic-at-dusk; pretend you are camping; or have a candlelight
dinner.

For more info on Earth Hour, check out www.earthhour.org


EARTH HOUR. MAKE IT HAPPEN.



DO THIS !

This is happening in Syndey, but i think this should be mandatory for United States citizens once a week. In a word, our administration sees things otherwise. So let's show our governement that we are ready to take responsibilty for the mess we've made; maybe they'll follow our example.

Go to Bed.

The sun comes up and i go to bed
What am i waiting for?
No - who am i waiting for?
I cry and i cry and i cry.
No - it's not true.
I wish and i wish and i wish i could cry.
You must miss me terribly. Look closer, not harder.

Inconceivable.

My days have been filled with ennui and distress, joy and laughter, as usual. Here are some things that have happened:

• I saw Wally Shawn speak at the Stella Adler Conservatory of Acting. He told the students not to get a real job. He told them that it was possible to act for the rest of their lives, but they might have to put up with meager financial circumstances and perhaps have to live in crowded conditions, cold conditions or even "smelly conditions."
  
• I saw David Nichtern speak at the Interdependence Project. He told us that we were all doing all right. Not in so many words.
  
• I saw a hooker at the corner of 25th and 3rd in Brooklyn. This surprised me because i've never seen a pro there before 10pm. Turns out she was a cop. The guy she was soliciting got taken in. Her "pimp" pulled the not-john out of the car and his own badge out of his shirt. Very COPS.
• My favorite dealer got "lassoed," to employ the term his wife used when she called me to let me know why he had flaked on me the night before.
• I got the wind knocked out of my sails with my last cold. Now, i have to row.

I'm going to be shaking my ass at the bootie party at Element tomorrow night. I recognize the ew factor of the club, but DJ Party Ben's mission in life is to get people dancing. Come be a part.

Sick.

My energy is leaking out of my fingers and toes. I miss you guys.

Turn Your Clocks Ahead.

I found this flyer in a yoga studio:

Endless War:
A Memorial

How can you ask another person to be the last one to die for a lie?

READ THE NAMES

Times Square Recruitment Center
Broadway and 44th Street

At dawn on Sunday, March 11th, 2007, as we approach the fifth [Ed.: fuck.] year of the Invasion of Iraq, people of conscience will begin reading all the documented names of the war dead, both civilian and military. We will continue reading from sunrise to sunset through Friday, March 16th, 2007.

We invite you to join us to read for a period of time, to bear witness to this tragedy and suffering. Be part of a growing resistance movement demanding an end to the illegal occupation of Iraq and saying "NO" to an arrack on Iran.

To add your name to the list of participants and schedule a time to read, contact endlesswarmemorial@gmail.com or call 212-533-2125 and please leave a telephone number where you can be reached.

WE WILL NOT BE SILENT.

If you're in NYC, i would highly recommend participating or at least as they write above, bearing witness. I would recommend it for those both in favor of and against the invasion of Iraq. For each name read, there is a family missing a son or daughter, a wife or a husband. If you're in favor of this war we're fighting, then have the balls to clearly see what it's costing us to protect our freedom. If you're not, then take the reading of these names as inspiration for creating peace. Remember, the best way to win the terror is to stop being afraid: stop being afraid that you won't be heard; stop being afraid that there is nothing that can change our country's direction; stop being afraid that what you do doesn't matter. You will be; there is; and it does.

This Is Just to Say.

This is just to say that i am feeling pretty good.
I used to be afraid of jinxing myself, but now i admit
that i have a little more control than that.

I hope that you are all well and that you spend your weekend doing something you enjoy.

xo,
SG


p.s. Happy birthday, Osama bin Laden. You, too, Neneh Cherry and Jasmine Guy. Best wishes, Chuck Norris and Timbaland.

Tampons, Tampons, Tampons!

From the site Tampontification:

Women’s shelters in the U.S. go through thousands of tampons and pads monthly, and, while agencies generally assist with everyday necessities such as toilet paper, diapers, and clothing, this most basic need is often overlooked. You and I may take our monthly trips down the feminine care aisle for granted, but, for women in shelters, a box of tampons is five dollars they can’t spare. Here’s some good news: you can help us contribute to rectifying this situation by making a virtual! For each virtual donation, Seventh Generation will send a pack of organic cotton tampons or chlorine-free pads to a shelter in your state.

All you have to do is visit the web site and click through this cute little game. And some woman has a little bit less to worry about each month.

I think this is important.

That Whole Daffodil Situation

That whole daffodil situation was disturbing and distressing. The volume, the sharpness, the dirtiness, the squishiness of the lugey he was hocking. My disgust over his public display of phlegm. My disgust over my judgment. My compassion for someone who sleeps outside during a blizzard. You can't get rid of a chest cold if you sleep outside in weather this cold and wet. My surprise seeing that his grocery cart was not a grocery cart, rather a handtruck carrying a dozen snow-sprinkled daffodils. Poor cold freezing flowers wheeled around by the poor cold freezing man. He sees me pouting over the flowers and says, "Do you wanna buy a plant?" I say no, but approach and get that flutter in my belly that asks, "Are you sure you wanna do this?" every time i decide to stretch past my shyness and talk to another human being i do not know. "I was just thinking how cold they must be with the snow." They? He said, "Yeah, i don't know what i was thinking." He shakes his head at his decision. He reminds me of The Old Man from The Old Man and The Sea. "I think they'll be okay, though. Just cold."

"Yeah," i say, rubbing a snowy petal in between my fingers and thinking that one of us must not know very much about horticulture.

"Can you help me out? $5?" I want to help him and what's more i have the cash on me. And what's more i want a daffodil plant all of a sudden. But Paul is picking me up in his new car and Jerzy is gonna be there and sometimes he's kind of hard-hearted. I'd be ashamed to show him that i had bought a cold dead plant from some cold dying man, as if that would actually help. "They're daffodils," he tells me. "I know," i say. Jerzy calls me from the car. "They're beautiful. I'm sorry."

Here's Your Chance to Smoke with Chong!

If you're around Piedmont, California and have an extra $125 to spare, you could hang out with Tommy Chong and at the same time help out Ed Rosenthal, one of the leading experts on marijuana cultivation and a major advocate for medicinal marijuana. Rosenthal is scheduled to go to federal court on March 19th for growing weed, laundering money and falsifying tax returns. Rosenthal figures the trial could set him back $300,000. Green-Aid is hosting a benefit party on Sunday to "celebrate how far we've come in legalizing medical marijuana," and help fund Rosenthal's trial.

Also, Cheech is on LOST tonight.

Halleluja!

Without knowing them, i seriously question the sincerity of his congregation:

A self-described Reagan Republican from Los Angeles who has founded a religion that makes marijuana a part of its ritual must defend his beliefs in court.

"I'm a Jewish kid from Beverly Hills who went to UCLA," Craig Rubin told the Los Angeles Daily News. "I could have been a lawyer making $250 an hour like the rest of my friends, or a TV producer. Instead, I'm teaching the Bible, selling weed on Hollywood Boulevard, facing seven years in jail -- of course I'm crazy."

Prosecutors charge that Rubin's Temple 420 is simply a front for a marijuana-distribution operation.

Rubin, who describes himself as a Republican admirer of President Ronald Reagan and preaches in front of a U.S. flag, says his beliefs are sincere. He has Friday night services where smoking marijuana is part of the ritual and preaches twice more on the weekends, using texts from Old Testament on Saturday and the New Testament on Sunday, the newspaper said. (UPI)

I could be born again.

Where You Place Your Attention.

Every time a great, shared tragedy occurs, like the Staten Island Ferry Crash in 2003, i'm struck by the importance of mindfulness and what can happen when our focus strays from its necessary object.

On the afternoon of Oct. 15, 2003, the ferry slammed into a pier at top speed after the assistant captain operating it, Richard J. Smith, blacked out during the last half mile of the trip from Manhattan to Staten Island. The accident, one of the worst mass transit disasters in the city’s history, ripped the side of the 3,300-ton boat open like a sardine can. People were crushed, mangled and decapitated.

A city rule requiring that two captains be in the pilot house in the front of the ferry while it is in motion was not followed. The captain, Michael J. Gansas, was on board at the time of the crash, but in the pilot house that faced Manhattan, not the one that faced Staten Island, as he should have been. (NYT)

The danger of self-absorption slices my ego wide open. Don't mistake me: i'm not talking about arrogant self-absorption only. The time spent fretting over "my" looks, "my" youth, "my" skin, "my" money, "my" relationships is as wasted as time rhapsodizing to myself over "my" looks, "my" youth, "my" skin, "my" money, "my" relationships. Depressed self-absorption draws us in and in and in till we thoroughly and mistakenly believe that what we do doesn't matter. More precisely, we fail to believe that everything we do matters.

We have to turn that inside out. However we do it - meditation, prayer, volunteering, art, science, family - let's clearly see the impact we have on everyone around us. Trust me: cast your net wide when you consider how many people you touch. If this is hard for you, try this technique. On any given day, from when you wake up till you fall asleep, count the number of people you notice. The deli guy, the girl with the same shoes as Bev, your roommate, the guy you would not have noticed had it not been for his U of M hat. You're gonna lose count, especially if you live in New York City. You can safely assume that the number of people who notice you is just as high. (And probably higher as cute as you are.) And to some degree, those people saw you, acknowledged you, and probably had some sort of opinion about you.

The "big" relationships provide the foundation and skeleton of this self we develop. But the throngs, the masses, the millions? They chisel in detail, character, the just-soness that make us who we are. If we don't pay attention to these mini-relationships, we may find ourselves shaped into a "tower of me-ness" that we neither like nor understand.

I didn't make the shift from thinking only of myself, to considering others because i wanted to be good and altruistic and Zen and whatever other buzzwords are used to describe what happens to you when you cultivate compassion. I made this shift because i saw how much i thought about myself and it made me sick. And then, it made me bored.

Thank God we get away with being self-absorbed so often. And since it cost so many unique lives, let's hope those involved in the ferry crash are learning the appropriate lessons. And let's avoid having to learn such extreme lessons ourselves.

I'm Getting a Tooth Pulled Today.

wish me luck.