Too Much.

I once watched a PBS show about a family dealing with one of their sons getting leukemia. He got to the point where he was dying and was spending all of his time in the hospital. I remember very distinctly a shot of him holding a photo of himself laughing on the beach during the family's last vacation together. He kept asking where his mom was because she rarely visited him. Not because she was cruel, but because she refused to acknowledge the fact that he was not going to get better. When the doctors called his grandmother after the mother stopped returning messages, they found out that most of the family didn't know that he was dying or even that sick. Aided by the grandmom, they finally got the mother to come in. The head doctor had to look her point blank in the face and say, "There is no hope for your son."

Something in my life has needed to die for a long time, but until today i didn't see how close to death it already was. We humans are very good at being blind. When the funeral is over (i may have already missed it.) , i will write more. Till then, behind a haze of dull smoke, be well.

SG