And We're Back.

Many of you will remember this post about The Ex. A lot of you commented or e-mailed me directly your disgust with him. "[W]e've both never had a decent boyfriend." "Make him persue your company, and if he doesn't, well.. youre better off darling." A friend we have in common and who reads the blog told me that even if The Ex was blind to it, he could see my rising strength. So, thanks to all of you for your encouragement. And for all of you who have been missing me: ditto. Here it is.

A few weeks ago, The Ex called me and offered to smoke the peace pipe and have a talk about why he reacted the way he did. I truly wasn't interested. I just was really okay with not knowing about his personal life. I wrote him a kind e-mail thanking him, but declining for the time being. I ended telling him that there would be many smokings of the peace pipe together in the future.

A few days later, he calls me and leaves a voicemail that's very insistent that we talk. We couldn' t arrange a time to get together in person and i was ready to hear what he had to say. So we spoke on the phone. I did a lot of breathing before we talked. Good thing. He says:

(clears throat) So, DeeDee (a woman we collaborated on in a performance piece in 2004) and i were having a casual relationship. (In my mind, not a big shocker; she's his type. And yet, something in the back of my mind, something that someone told me about DeeDee a few months ago) And while weweresleepingtogether, she was sleeping with someone else. Not a big deal, it was casual. And she got pregnant. (Ah. Right.) And she had a little girl and we did the paternity tests, and it's mine.

Wow is what i said. Oh my fucking God, you fucking retarded (i hate using that word, but that is what i thought. Does that make me like Michael Richards? I get confronted with a stressful situation and my true feelings about mentally or physically challenged people comes out? We are a society that is good at hiding things.) stupid fucking fucking stupid what the fuck were you thinking you're an idiot fucking moron is what i thought. The thought went on longer, but after that it's just variations on a theme and i think you get the picture.

Yeah. The fucking Ex who was stilling fucking me 19 months ago is a dad. That is some fo' evah shit.

It's only been 19 days since i found out, but i'm already laughing about the absurdity of the whole thing: a casual relationship turning into the most permanent relationship there is. He'll always be that little girl's daddy and DeeDee will always be his babymomma. Remember that song that went something like "That's just my Babydaddy?" Can someone please send me a link to it? Thanks.

Oh, and about the contest. Like, two of you entered and i need more competition than that. I never thought i'd be such a capitalist. I'm extending the deadline till New Year's Eve.

Nice to see you again.

SG