Labor.

"He's never early, he's always late,
first thing you learn is that you always gotta wait."

The Guy i have right now is actually pretty good about being on time, as far as drug dealers go. He's usually here within 30 minutes of ETA and a few times, he's been early. Only twice has he been unbearably late. I had to use my "i mean business" tone the first time. And this evening, he was 117 minutes late. I didn't notice much of his tardiness because The Ex and i were busy taking offensively cute pictures of the stupidly cute kitty.

When The Guy did arrived, he said, "First the traffic and then my girl goes into labor."

OK. That's a pretty good excuse. But, also, what the fuck?

I have talked to his girlfriend a couple of times. He had to use her phone for deals after he lost his. There's no way she smokes pot. Her voice is like vibrating silk. And mine? Like crunching gravel. I don't mind; it's working for Marianne Faithfull. Anyway, The Guy's girlfriend was always nice and sounded pretty and i hope she's not alone and scared in some horribly lit hospital room because i wanted to get high.

The clock on my cell phone has gradually, over the course of three or four months, moved forward in time. It is now 8 minutes faster than the microwave and the computer, which were both originally set off of the cell. Why is this happening? I don't want to pretend i'm 8 minutes in the future. Perhaps i would like to, in fact, be 8 minutes in the future. Perhaps, like the clock on my c-phone, i will gradually begin to move ahead of my roommate, my friends, my fellow subway commuters. At first, everyone will just think that i'm becoming very psychic. But then, i will grow farther and farther away from everyone. They'll interact with the shadow of me and i will talk to their projections. I'll touch the man i'll fall in love with, but his skin will feel like slightly moist sand and i won't be able to hold him too tightly. This will be a good lesson for me.

I know that there are all sorts of holes in that scenario. There always are when it comes to time travel. Please read Einstein's Dreams. Back to the Future II is on. It's no Godfather II, but as sequels go, it's very watchable. Someone once explained to all the holes in BTTFII, but i have since forgotten them. Who cares? It's made up.

Somewhere in brooklyn, The Guy's girlfriend is moving past 4 centimeters. Let's wish them luck.