I am soooooo not into sobriety right now, which is a shame because both of my contacts are dry right now. New York City Readers, is there a drought these days? So, i'm getting drunk. My Buddhism/Yogism teachers would tell me that i need to face all the shitty shit that's happening in my life face on, but i don't fucking want to. I'm tired of being strong and looking things right in the eye. I just wanna get fucked up and forget that credit scores, student loans and electric bills exist.

I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. It's not a cult. It's just as fucked up and mind-controlling as most other religions, except you can't celebrate Xmas and birthdays. From the get, i never wanted to be a part of it and when i started going to junior high, i delved into sports and the student newspaper and friends and used those extra-curricular activities as an excuse to avoid going to church. The JW's don't call it church; they go to the "kingdom hall." So, my relationship with G-O-D like that of many Judeo-Xtians who are Judeo-Xtians because of their family as opposed to faith, was tenuous for a long time. I stopped believing in God because i was mad at him for all the rules i had to follow. When i found Yoga and figured out that my relationship with God was completely unique and that no one had power over that relationship but me, it was like the Heavens opened up. Just like in Matthew 3:12 - 17. Because i'm in control of the relationship, i get to be angry at him when things don't go right, even when it's my fault. I can scream and cry and holler and yell at him and i have faith that he still loves me. And is watching out for me. And will make things better.

Jospeh Campbell was once asked, "Is your faith in God 100%?" And he replied, (my drunken paraphrasement), "No. That's why it's called faith and not fact."